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	<title>DC Damsel</title>
	<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com</link>
	<description>Life in the Nation's Capital</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:07:04 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>DC Damsel&#8217;s Adaptation of a Twelve Step Program</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Note: Some scenarios have been changed to protect the identity of individuals involved. Other scenarios have been completely fabricated to make me sound like more fun than I really am.
The Twelve-Step Program originally created in 1955 in the form of Alcoholics Anonymous has helped countless individuals around the globe recover from any number of addictive behaviors, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=364</link>
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		<title>Burn Notice: The Great Man Purge of 2010</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Remember the Friends episode when Monica and Rachel and Phoebe decided to cleanse themselves of all the asshole men they&#8217;d dated by burning mementos from failed relationships in the middle of the living room?
I actually considered doing that recently.
I had my mementos all picked out.
A Notre Dame t-shirt from the &#8220;I love you but I [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=355</link>
			</item>
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		<title>If I Were A Boy: Channeling My Inner Sasha Fierce</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If I were a boy&#8230;
I&#8217;d play golf badly while wearing stupid pants.
I&#8217;d puff long and hard on cigars and act like it wasn&#8217;t the least bit phallic.
I&#8217;d sip single malt and go all in before the flop on the floor of the Venetian when just a week earlier I was nursing a Mike&#8217;s Hard Lemonade [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=321</link>
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		<title>A Mother&#8217;s Day Manicure</title>
		<description><![CDATA[All girls like to primp and preen just like their moms.
And on this particular Mother&#8217;s Day, as I sat getting my bi-weekly mani/pedi, I watched as a little girl, no older than five, had her nails painted.
She chose bright purple for her fingers.
And neon orange for her tiny toes.
As she squirmed under the nail dryers [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=297</link>
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		<title>If My Average Vag Could Talk: The Top Five Things She Would Say</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When Eve Ensler debuted her Vagina Monologues off-Broadway in 1996, America had seen nothing like it. Now after years of  controversy and notoriety, the monologues have taken on a life of their own, engaging communities far and wide and enlivening causes ranging from trans-gender rights to combating violence against women in the free world and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=283</link>
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		<title>Recall It Like a Toyota: 1-5</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ no pl]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=236</link>
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		<title>Champagne Wishes and Civet Poop Dreams?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In a world where ordering a cup of coffee at Starbucks makes the theory of relativity look like something Einstein came up with while on a bender, it&#8217;s no surprise that in the year of 2010, the best part of waking up may no longer be Folgers in your cup.
That said, one could hardly imagine, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=264</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Sarah&#8217;s Subpar Stipulations</title>
		<description><![CDATA[She&#8217;s the queen of the tea party rabble-rousers and does more for lipstick than a pitbull could ever hope to. And while my opinion on death panel Palin will forever remain a secret known only to my closest confidants and a handful of neighbors who hear me scream every time she Fargo farts her way [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=255</link>
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		<title>Oscars Away: Five Random Observations From the 2010 Academy Awards</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I did something on Sunday night that I haven&#8217;t done since I was a  co-ed in my dorm room at the University of Wisconsin, I popped some  kettle corn and watched the Academy Awards from top to bottom.
For what it&#8217;s worth, here are my top five ordinary observations of  the 82nd Annual [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=219</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>My Top Five Reasons I&#8217;d Fuck Dick Cheney</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In honor of his, fifth, yes count em, fifth heart attack, I&#8217;ve decided to salute former vice president and 2010 CPAC hero, Dick Cheney, by proclaiming to the world (or at least the half dozen folks who read this blog) my top five reasons I&#8217;d fuck Dick Cheney:
1. Halliburton Hunk: Despite his many years of [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dcdamsel.com/?p=209</link>
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